Want to leave my babyfather for my former boyfriend


May 18, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I need your help because I am confused. I am 25 years old and I have two lovers.

One of the relationships started when I was in high school and after high school, he went to the US to live.

We continue to correspond until he told me that he does not know when he was going to come back to Jamaica; so if I find a man, I can go ahead, because he found a girl and he is dating her.

He said he didn't know what the future was holding for him, but he didn't want to tell me to wait ,because it may take him a long time to sort out himself.

I told him that I never cheated on him and he was my first boyfriend. When I started to date another guy, I told him and he said he hoped the guy would treat me well.

This guy that I started to date didn't believe in using the condom. He was more of the 'Rasta' type. So after having sex with him three times, I found myself pregnant.

After I had my first baby, one year and six months after, he got me pregnant again. To get away from sex, I was always pretending that I was not feeling well.

Then, one day I got a call from my high-school sweetheart telling me that he and his girlfriend have broken up and he is coming back to Jamaica to marry me.

I told my children's father that this man was coming to Jamaica and he said I can't leave him. So when my lover was coming, I left the children with their grandmother and went to stay with him for a week.

I couldn't tell the children's father where I went. He asked my relatives, but only my mother knew. After my lover left and I went home, I told my babyfather I was stressed so I took time to be by myself.

He took away my cell phone and searched it, but he didn't find anything outside the ordinary. This guy is coming back to Jamaica to marry me at the end of August.

My mother told me that I should tell my children's father, but I am afraid. I don't know what to do.


Dear H.J.,

You have not said whether your children's father is good to you, whether he is abusive, or whether he treats you well and support the children.

However, you speak highly of the man you called your lover and with whom you had an intimate relationship when you were in high school. Both of you are still in love. That is how it appears.

As I see it, it is better for you to end the relationship with your children's father and stop playing tricks on him. I only make this comment because it appears that you love the other man more than your children's father.

You have not said whether this man got married in the US. If he was married, make sure he is divorced.

Discuss your situation with your parents and leave your children's father house before your old-time lover comes to Jamaica. Don't stay in his house and plan your wedding.

You will be setting up yourself for trouble; and make sure that you are marrying your old-time lover because you genuinely love him and not to get a ticket to the US.


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