Mom says she's related to my boyfriend


May 22, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I am a Jamaican. I was living with my mother and sisters but was forced to leave because she was always trying to pimp me out to different men because of money.

I left home after graduating from high school with seven Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate subjects to live with my boyfriend.

In 2016, I became pregnant and lost the baby at nine months because of a car accident.

I was in the hospital when my mother came and created a scene saying it was my boyfriend who killed the baby.

We both had our ups and down but I know it was not him. I am in love with my boyfriend and don't intend to break up with him. He gives me all I need and support me in everything I do.

Currently I have applied to do studies in the field of accounting in a specific school, and I have just finished a customer service short course.

I love my boyfriend but recently it has become a problem with my mom because she carries the same surname as he does.

I have done my investigation and I don't see where they are related, but she said that they are related.

Please give me your advice.


Dear D.N.

I could not imagine how traumatic it must have been for you to carry a pregnancy for nine months and then lose it.

You claim that your mother does not like your boyfriend, but even if she has strong opinion, she should have controlled herself.

You claimed that your mother tried to get you to go with other men for money, but you refused to do so.

That would not be surprising because it is well known that some mothers have encouraged their daughters to go out and play the role of prostitutes to help and support themselves, their parents and their siblings.

You did not agree to that sort of lifestyle so you left your mother's house and went to live with your boyfriend.

Even if your mother does not like your boyfriend, it is wrong to accuse him for causing you to lose your baby. Has your boyfriend ever physically abused you?

What did she say that he did to cause you to lose the child? If your mother can show solid prove that your boyfriend and herself are related by blood, you should not take that lightly.

But if you are sure that she is only trying to make your boyfriend and yourself feel guilty by having a sexual relationship, you should ignore her.

Your mother and yourself should try to live in harmony. It is unwise for her to show disgust at your relationship. But if she does not change and you are deeply in love with the guy, stick with him.


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