Mom hates me because I'm black like my dad

Dear Pastor,

Thank you for your column. I have found it to be helpful, very encouraging and straight forward. You do not condemn anyone and that is one of the reasons I kept reading your column.

My mother would beat me for every little mistake and anything she could grab, she would throw it at me. Every day she told me that I wouldn't come to anything.

My mother has three daughters. My two older sisters are of light complexion. Their father left my mother because he said she cheated on him.

She got a job and was having a relationship with the man she was working for and he got her pregnant. That man is my father. He was a very black man.

SUPPORTMYFATHER

He supported her and my two sisters. My mother doesn't love me because I resembled my father and I am black like him. Even my sisters don't like me because of my mother.

When I was almost 18 years old, my father became ill and couldn't work. My mother didn't show him any love. I got a job and helped to support my father. He got better and went to the US.

After a few months, my mother brought a man in my father's house. I called my father and told him.

My sisters told her that the man shouldn't sleep at the house with her and neighbours seeing.

She says that I will have to leave, but my father told me that I should not leave because he is going to give me the house when the time comes.

I have a boyfriend and my father gave me permission to allow him to stay with me. Since he is here with me, my mother threatened to throw me out.

She has her man, but she spends most of her time at the house he rented. My sisters' boyfriends come and go. Sometimes they sleep here. That is not my problem. My father got married in the US and he said he is giving me this house.

L.D.

Dear L.D.,

Try your best to live in peace with your mother and your siblings. Judging by what you have said, your mother has had some struggles.

You make it seems as if she is a very bad woman. I see her as a very silly woman who believes that one should judge another by his or her complexion.

Evidently, when she got involved with your black father, she was facing financial problems. It was not your father she wanted. It was his money.

When he impregnated her, it was a big slip. But your father is quite a responsible man. He took care of everyone until he became ill.

You did the correct thing by informing your father that your mother brought her new man into the house.

Your mother is too hot. But, you are hot too, following in the footsteps of your mother it appears. Your boyfriend is living at the house with you.

Your family is dysfunctional. Why should you be living in your father's house with a man? I hope both of you will go back to school and get an education or learn skills that will empower you for life.

Pastor.