Don't know who got me pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am pregnant with my first child. The thing is, I do not know who is the father of this child. The pregnancy is two months. I am not a bad girl, so please, do not judge me wrongfully. I have a friend who was celebrating her 18th birthday and her boyfriend, who is 24 years old, put on a party for her and invited me. I told my parents that I wanted to go, but I would not be coming home after the party. A group of us girls were going to sleep over. My boyfriend had to work so he couldn't attend the party, even if he didn't have to work, he is not a party lover, and so I don't think he would have attended.

When I went to the party, I realised that everybody was teamed up with their friends. A few guys didn't seem to have anybody and they were moving from place to place, chatting up the girls who were their without their partners. A couple of them invited me to their table and we were all drinking. I had too much to drink and I went on the dance floor and was dancing.

My friend, who was celebrating her birthday, took me to my seat. She told me a few days after the party that she didn't know what got into me; I just wouldn't listen to her. I don't know which of the guys took me away to a room and had sex with me, but they did because when I came to myself, my underwear was taken off and it was on the ground by the side of the bed. I did not tell my girlfriend that I was raped, but she told me that her boyfriend said it was more than one guy who had sex with me that night. She told me that I should go to the doctor and look after myself. I didn't have the money and I couldn't tell my boyfriend what happened to me, so I didn't go to the doctor.

NO CONDOM USED

When I saw my boyfriend three days after, we had sex. He asked me why I was so nervous and I told him nothing. He did not use the condom, although I suggested that he should. He said he did not understand why I was insisting that we used the condom, so I dropped the argument.

I have missed my period twice and I believe that one of these guys got me pregnant, but I don't know which one. I don't even know their names. I don't want to tell my boyfriend that I have not seen my period because I doubt that he is responsible for that, and I don't want to give him a 'jacket'. He is such a nice guy to me. He was always hoping to get me pregnant and that is why we don't use the condom when we are having sex together. If I was sure that he got me pregnant, I would tell him and I know he would be glad.

I am going to evening classes. He calls me every day after class and tells me where he is. These days when he calls, I am nervous to pick up my phone. I am writing you for your advice. Please, don't ignore my letter. Please, help me, Dear Pastor.

G.H.

Dear G.H.,

Tell your boyfriend the truth. Don't hold back on anything. He knew that you attended the party, but what he doesn't know is that you had too much to drink and you were sexually abused by guests who were at the party. I am sorry that you did not tell him the following day what happened. You are hiding it from him. I am sure that he would have gotten you to the doctor and encouraged you to report the matter to the police. You were raped, and every rape should be reported to the police.

It is illegal for a man to drug a woman and have sex with her. You tried to have sex with your boyfriend a few days after the incident. He knew something was wrong and he asked you, but you refused to tell him the truth. Well, now you cannot hide the truth from him because you are pregnant. You may take the risk and carry the pregnancy for nine months and hope that it is your boyfriend's child. But that is a real risk. He would look at you as a deceiver if the child is not his. So, tell him now.

You cannot be sure how this man would react, but you should not keep this problem to yourself. Don't hide this matter anymore. Even if he decides to leave you, your conscience would be free and you can give up the child for adoption.

Pastor