Mother-in-law is driving me crazy

Dear Pastor,

I have been in a relationship for almost three years now.

Before I moved in with my partner, I told him I didn't want to live there with his mother, and he said it wouldn't be for long because he would be moving soon.

It so happened that I got pregnant a year later. Our son is 11 months old now. I asked him if we could move out again, and he said that it was a bad idea at that time because all the pressure would be on him alone and I wasn't working at the time. I agreed.

I started to work four months after giving birth, which he didn't fully agree to. Anyway, I'm telling him it's now time for us to be on our own, but he's still giving me excuses.

My problem with him is that he's always taking up for his mother even when she's dead wrong and always making excuses for her, which I hate very much.

We don't see eye to eye because his mother doesn't have any manners. She has no respect, and she doesn't know her boundaries.

If my boyfriend and I are having an argument or a conversation, she has to join the argument, which always makes me angry. I am very sure he loves me, and I love him.

He spends time with our son, but I am sick and tired of being around his mom. I can honestly say I don't like her anymore.

I told him I wanted my own space, and he said we could build something in the same yard. I told him that I want to move away and out of the sight of his mom.

He said he's not going to leave his home, where he is living for free, to go rent somewhere that is going to cost him a lot.

I got so upset and told him that I am moving with or without him, so I asked for a transfer at my job, which is being processed now.

I really don't want to leave the relationship, and neither does he, but I am sick and tired of his mother. So I am asking for your advice, please and thanks.

T.L.

Dear T.L.,

You have ambition, and this man does not have much. You made a mistake by going to live in his mother's house, but you need to get out.

If you don't want to die early or undergo unnecessary stress, you need to walk out on him and find an apartment that you can afford and where you can be on your own.

The good book says, "when a man finds a woman, he should marry her and leave his parents' home."

Of course, there are some parents who don't meddle in the affairs of their sons or daughters if they are staying at their (the parents') home.

But some mothers-in-law are difficult to live with. So, I am agreeing with you. Regardless of what your child's father says, rent a place, and move out.

Pastor