My husband wants to leave me for a 'whore'

Dear Pastor,

I am now in a situation where I live with my common-law husband for more than six and a half years. We have a child together. Now, he wants to leave me for another woman who is not in my class. He even got her pregnant. The other night I asked him if he wanted more children and he said soon, so I asked him how soon and he said, "very soon, but not with you. You are too miserable." I didn't say anything else.

Since of late, he has changed towards me. We used to be loving, but since he met this girl, everything changed. It's like everything I do is a problem to him. Every time we have an argument his comments are, "That's why I can't be with you" or "why don't you leave?" I can't leave because I helped him with everything that he has now. He just wants me to leave, and the worst part is that the girl is not a settling down type of girl. She is what we call a 'whore' because she has two other men with him, and what puzzles me is that I don't see where I went wrong.

I have tried everything just to make him happy. I was there when no one else was. Now, I am confused, and I don't know what to do. Some people are telling me to leave and some are telling me to stay. I don't know what to do. Please, help me.

S.W.

Dear S.W.,

I am not prepared to tell you whether you should stay or leave. You say your husband has gotten another woman pregnant and that he has changed. He is not treating you as well as before. But you have put a lot into this relationship. Therefore, he should not expect you to just walk out and allow him to bring his new woman into the house.

He considers you miserable. You might not think that you are, but since he says you are miserable, you should use the opportunity to suggest to him that both of you should go and see a family counsellor for help. You do not see his girlfriend as a woman of class. Unfortunately, you called her a whore. Too bad you have to class her that way.

If you are planning to leave this man, you should get advice from a lawyer. Whatever both of you have achieved together since you have been married, you have a right to your share. Remember, speak to a family counsellor before you make up your mind about what you should do. And allow a lawyer to give you legal advice.

Pastor