Foreigner pressuring me to get married

Dear Pastor,

I am 18. I met a guy online about a year ago, we became friends. We talk to each other every day.

He is a real charmer. He told me he doesn't want anybody to be in my life except him. He is 22. He wants me to come to the US and marry him.

I intend to go to university, and my parents are encouraging me not to leave Jamaica until I finish.

This guy has never been to Jamaica. He has sent me many pictures of himself, and in April, he sent me a 'pre-engagement' ring to show me how serious he is about me.

I met another guy recently, and he asked me why I was wearing a ring. I told him I was

pre-engaged. We started to talk, and I am getting to like him. He is mature and he shows me respect.

But my boyfriend in America is lots of fun because when I go home, I can talk to him all night if I want to. He said he doesn't have a girlfriend and he is keeping himself for me. Should I believe him?

V.L

Dear V. L.,

Although this man has sent you this so-called pre-engagement ring, he might be playing you. I am making these suggestions to you: Take a hammer and destroy this ring, throw it away, or send it back to him.

You are not ready for marriage. You have never met this man. He can tell you whatever he wants to tell you. That does not mean that he is speaking the truth.

Too many men who live abroad lie to our Jamaican women. They promise them silver and gold, and many times, they have nothing, not even brass.

So, tell this man that you wish to pursue an education. You do not want to be tied up with a man you have never met personally.

I hope you will accept my suggestions. Get rid of that pre-engagement ring. The man is only trying to hold you. Don't allow him to turn you into a fool.

I know you are 18, but that does not mean that you can't continue to receive guidance from your parents. I wish you well.

Pastor