This girl needs to leave my boyfriend alone

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old. I have two children by a man who I consider to be a good provider and a good lover. He treats me very well and takes good care of the children. But he is very sneaking.

Before we met, he had a girlfriend and she has not stopped calling him. If this girl calls him in the middle of the night and asks him to do her a favour, he tells me he has to go, but he will be back. One night she was involved in an accident and she needed help. I objected to him leaving and he raised his hand to hit me and I backed off. I realised that something serious could have developed between us that night. He left but returned in two hours. When he did, he cautioned me not to try to stop him from going to help this girl because he was the one who walked away from her and came to me. She could not stop him from doing everything for me.

I learnt my lesson. He said that they are not having sex but I cannot be sure of that. But why can’t this girl find another man when she needs help? Why does she have to call my boyfriend for help? I know that my boyfriend will never agree for me to leave in the night to go and help a former boyfriend. So why do I have to agree to allow him to assist his former lover? Do you think that my boyfriend’s motive is pure?

Initial withheld

Dear Writer,

Your boyfriend and this woman were once lovers, but now they are just good friends.

You do not have any proof that it is other than that. This young woman knows that she could trust him, so whenever there is a crisis, she calls on him to assist her. Frankly, I do not see why he shouldn’t help her. What you can do is that whenever this woman calls again, and it is convenient for you to accompany him, you should ask him if he has any objection to taking you with him. He may not want you to accompany him, but at least you can suggest that you go with him.

Some couples have ended the intimate relationships that they have had, but they do not hate each other and they have remained good friends. It would be good if you learn to trust your man. Don’t accuse him of doing something that you cannot prove. Let me hear from you again.

Pastor