Tired of being beaten by my man


August 08, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am in need of your help. I am 24 and I was with a man for a year and nine months. He was the love of my life. I was happy. He was loving, caring and kind to me.

Two months into the relationship it was my birthday. We went out and returned to his place, where we had sex.

Right after, I went on my phone to activate my 'free night', because I was not sleeping there, so I could call him when I get home. He said to me, "What are you doing on your phone?" And I told him and he got so mad saying, "Gal you tek man fi fool? A your man dem you a text. How we fi just done have sex and you a text yuh man dem?"

I never saw that side of him before. He started hitting me in my face and all over. I cried for him to stop saying, "Please it's my birthday. I was activating my free night", but he didn't stop.

I went home crying. It was the first in my life a man had hit me. Not even my father had ever hit me before.

For weeks I could not eat or sleep. He called me and begged for my forgiveness saying he didn't know that one has to activate free nights now. I decided to resume the relationship with him and take it slow. He tried his best to make it up to me and I forgave him.

Six months later we were living together. Pastor, that's when all hell broke loose. Everything I did, this man would beat me for it, like a child.

I got pregnant and one night I was coming from work and a coworker took me home. It was raining and he saw the man drop me off.

When I went in, the man started to hit on me saying he was my man and I am having sex on his belly.

The same night, I lost the baby from the beating. He cried and told me he was sorry.


I started taking birth control pills and he saw them in my draw and got real upset. That man hit me and pulled me all over the house, saying I should have all his six children and if he found out that I am taking any pills he will kill me.

I got pregnant again and did an abortion. He found out and beat me till I passed out. I had to tell him, a lie so that he would stop. I told him, "You said you don't want kids right now that's why I did it." I decided I was going leave him, but I got pregnant again, so I stayed. Four months in the pregnancy, we had a fight because I was sick of him hitting me and I broke his phone. The man had me on the floor with a piece of wood that he used to beat me in my back, head and belly. I lost my babies; they were twins.


His mother came to the hospital to visit me and told me to leave him because he is a madman and she is afraid of him and she knows he is beating me. I told her I can't leave because he is always at home. She told me she was going to tell him to take her to the doctor one day and I should leave that day. I went home and two weeks later his mom called and told me the date and she got a truck for me. When he left, I moved as fast as I could, back to the country.

I was not at peace. He came to my workplace, pulled a knife on me and ordered me to to go into his car, where he raped me. He told me to come home and I told him I was going to, but I just can't take the beating any more.

He told me he was going to stop beating me. He said I should just come home. I told him I would, but all I wanted was to get out that car alive. He dropped me at the bus stop. I cried like a madwoman, I didn't care what people thought of me. I left my job and changed my number.

It's been two months now since I last saw him. But last night I was coming from my new job to my new place. When I was at my gate, he just came in front of me and gave me one thump in my face and knocked me out. I woke up in his car. My eyes were swollen, my mouth was bleeding and he was telling me all types of dirty words, while saying what he was going to do to me and he was going to lock me in his house and that I am going to give him his six kids and I am going to marry him because I am his.

He stopped on a lonely road to buy his weed because he did not want anyone to see me looking all blooded up. He told me if I leave the car, he would find me and kill me.

When he left, I ran out the car. He caught me and started hitting me again. He pulled me back into the car and I decided I was not going back in. I started crying out. "Help!! People!! People!! Help me."

A man came on to him and told him to let me go and I ran into a policeman's yard. He called the police station. I didn't lock him up because I remember he told me if I every locked him up, he and his friends will go to my country and kill my relatives. This man is from one of the hotspots in Kingston and he has done things before. I am afraid for my life. He is 36 years old.


Dear P.A.,

You should take out an injunction or a restraining order on this man. You need not be afraid. Go and see a lawyer. Even if you have to borrow the money to pay the lawyer, do so.

Your life is much more important to preserve than anything else right now. And if you continue to allow this beast in human form to abuse you, he might indeed kill you.

Right now you are not using your head. Even this man's mother tried to help you and yet you went back to him. It is time for you to stand up for your rights. Anytime this man lifts his hand against you, you should go to the police. Take good care of yourself.


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