Boyfriend spends too much time with his babymother


August 09, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am under stress. I have a boyfriend. I am 19 years old, almost 20. I am with the man who I have been loving from the time I was 15. He is 28 years old.

I did not know that he had two children until I moved in to live with him, and one day, he came home with a little girl and told me that she was going to spend the weekend with us.

I asked him who the girl was, and he said that it was the little girl he told me about. Pastor, he was lying. He never told me about a little girl.

I remember asking him about children, and he said that he did not have any. I always wanted to have a man who didn't have outside children.

I love the little girl. She has good manners. She told me that my boyfriend and her mother were good friends and that he went to see her every week and that sometimes they locked up in the bedroom.

I cannot tell this man what his daughter told me. But when I thought the man was at work, he was with his child's mother. If he is going to visit his child, Pastor, how come he is locked up in the room with the mother?

He is a man who likes to have sex, so he wouldn't be in the bedroom and not doing anything. I don't know what to do. Please help me.


Dear A.T.,

I am sure that you are not foolish. This man lied to you. He knows that he did not tell you that he had fathered a child.

The good thing about him is that he has been supporting his child, and I must tell you this, the girl did not volunteer this information to you. You questioned her about her daddy, and while you may feel you got valuable information, you should remember that it is never good to question a child about his or her parents, especially knowing the kind of relationship you have with this man.

She told you that her father came sometimes and went into her mother's room. You may think that her mother and father are having a sexual relationship. It might not even be so.

Therefore, if you would be wise, you should not question the young girl and you should give the benefit of the doubt to the man you say you love. The relationship he is having with the child's mother may not even be sexual.


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