My man is horrible in bed


August 10, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I am having a problem. I am living with my boyfriend who is only 28 years old, and he is having problems.

Pastor, I have learned how to satisfy a man from what my mother taught my sister and I. My mother said she did not want us to run around, so we should learn how to take care of our men.

When I was only 15 years old and my sister was 17, my mother said she wanted to have a girl talk with us.

She told us that when she was 18 years old she started to have sex with our father.

She did not get pregnant because my father, who was much older, decided that he did not want to have a child until he was married to her.

Every time he had sex with her he said he didn't like using the condom, but he kept using it. After they were married, he stopped and she got pregnant.

My mother looked at my big sister and said, "You think I don't know that you are having sex? I knew when you started. I didn't say anything because I saw it in your diary and you were also on the Pill."

My sister was shocked. She said, "Mom, you read my diary?". My mother said, "Yes. I went into your bag and saw it and I read it. And I also saw where you keep your pills."

My mother turned to me and said, "You haven't started yet. But before you start, I want to talk to your boyfriend".


She told us that we should not let her down because she is a missionary in the church and she doesn't want the church members to say that she is a missionary and her daughters got pregnant.

After that, I did not hide anything from my mother. I took home a guy when I was 16 and my mother told me that I should wait.

She did not like the guy. She did not even talk to him. When he left he called me and told me that he doesn't like my mother.

At present, my boyfriend is much older than I am. My parents love him, but, Pastor, when it comes to sex, I am better than he is. I had two boyfriends that I secretly went to bed with and I was fully satisfied.

My present boyfriend, who wants to marry me, can't satisfy me. I can't talk to my mother about this problem. She would say that it is not the man's fault. I am not saying that he is not trying his best, but I don't want to marry him and he can't satisfy me.

If he spends two to three minutes having sex with me, he discharges and then wants to sleep.


He said that he is having problems because his mother used to give him too much lime juice, and the lime juice cut his nature.

I don't know if that is true. Whenever I am with him and cook for him and make him drink, I do not use lime juice.

However, we have been in a relationship for almost three years and he is still having the problem.

I know I feed him well because I cook for him and give him nutritious drinks. So what is the problem?

I don't want to take another man to meet my parents because they love him and he has a good job and home.

So tell me what to do. To me sex is very important. Answer me quickly because he is waiting on me to fix the wedding date for next year.


Dear D.L.,

Let me begin by saying that you have a very intelligent mother. I wish more mothers would talk to their daughters about the facts of life.

Your mother even spoke to you and your sister about what she did when she was young. She did not have to tell you what she did with your father, but she did. She wanted you and your sister to avoid making mistakes in relationships.

Some may say that your mother did not have any right to read your sister's diary, but they are not to forget that a mother would want to know what is going on in her daughter's life, and some girls will never divulge anything to their mothers.

I believe that your mother can be forgiven for what she did and it has helped her to be able to discuss the subject of sex with both of you.

The man you introduced to her is loved by both your parents. He does not appear to know the art of lovemaking, and because what he is doing is affecting the relationship, he is now blaming it on the amount of lime juice his mother gave him to drink. He is really talking nonsense.

Both of you are planning to get married, so he needs to go to the book store and purchase some good books on the art of making love. You can read them and discuss what you read.


Both of you should make an appointment to see a family counsellor long before the wedding date is fixed. Discuss freely with the counsellor what is happening.

You see, my dear sister, if this matter is not dealt with, you will cheat. So hurry up and get to the store and buy a couple of good books and read them.

Perhaps you should consult a counsellor before and meet with him/her and he/she will tell you the name of the books you should purchase. I wish you and this gentleman well.


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