My man treats me like his slave


August 11, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I'm 24 years old and I am living with my boyfriend, who is 28. He took me in after my father told me to leave his house. I've been living with him for almost a year now.

He was very nice to me at first. I remember when we had our first argument; it was some time after I lost my job. We were both working at the same hotel. That's where we met. Since that time, we have been having a series of arguments.

Sometimes he tells me to leave his house. Sometimes I want to leave badly, but I don't have anywhere to go. I wash, cook and clean for him. I am not a housewife, but I had my brothers to take care of while I was living at home, because my mom had to work. So I know how to do house chores properly.

Pastor, this man wants to marry me, but since the pressure of bills has taken a toll on him, he has become verbally abusive. I don't want to be ungrateful, but I remember his mom telling me he is not a nice person so I should protect myself from pregnancy. It's now holiday time and my I have seven-year-old niece with me. After an argument with him, she told me not to marry him and I am seriously considering taking her advice because he doesn't love or appreciate me. He tells me he will change, but I don't believe him because, even though he is the one working, he is unable to put food on the table at times because of bills. So he asks me to do so and I do because when he has money he buys food.


When I came to live with him, the house was lacking many things. It was only suitable for a male to live. But when he took me in, we talked about buying things like stove, fridge, dresser, etc. Even though he was working, it was hard to purchase these things at once with his pay. He took a loan and gave me all I wanted in the house to make me comfortable. At the end of this month, the loan will be paid off. I really appreciate it, but I don't think he loves me. I have lost trust in him. He no longer helps around the yard. If I am washing and tidying up the house and ask him to cook, it causes an argument. I am so stressed and depressed because I really love him, but he won't change. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to cheat on him, but I am thinking about it because he doesn't tell me or show me he loves me, and he certainly doesn't tell me that I am beautiful. I feel like his slave or his maid. I can't even express how I feel to him. He curses me instead of listening to me. I am eagerly awaiting your response.

Miss Depressed

Dear Miss Depressed,

You have not said why your father told you to leave his house. Whatever might have been the reason, I would like to suggest that you go and see your father and tell him that you are sorry for disappointing him and you would like to return home.

No father who loves his daughter, and whose daughter is respectful, would want to see her suffer. So, go to him and tell him that you want to come home.

Your boyfriend is tired of you. He doesn't respect you. You ought not to be living with him. Get out of his way. The situation will get worse if you were to stay with him. And please try your best to get another job.


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