I'm having suicidal thoughts
I'm 18 years old, and I'm really depressed. I was supposed to go back to school, but my father said he's not sending me back.
I started losing weight over the situation because I had no one to talk to. I decided I would get a job, so I moved in with my sister, who lives in an urban area.
Pastor, the things I have to go through aren't very nice. She lives with her husband and kids and the house is not always very clean.
I remember one night, a swarm of roaches came in the room I was staying in. That stressed me out even more because my father doesn't know what he is putting me through.
I cry day and night over the situation because I cannot do any better. Sometimes I think if I had got pregnant, life would be easier for me.
I feel even worse when I see my friends going off to college. Pastor, I'm not dunce. I completed high school with 11 CXC CAPE subjects. I am not a bad girl. I really don't know what to do. I'm having suicidal thoughts. Please help me.
Dear S. W.,
Your father perhaps couldn't afford to send you back to school. I am sure that at is not because he doesn't love you. Perhaps he cannot afford to do so. But you can send yourself back to school. You can work for a year and save a little money and you can apply for a student loan and go to college.
You have not said why you have left your father's home. I don't get the impression that your father asked you to leave. It seems to me, from what you have said, that you wanted a break from "the old man" and you felt that things would be easier living with your sister.
Now that you have seen that it is rough going, so to speak, at your sister's house, you are sorry you are there.
I suggest that you go back to your father's. Tell him that you are willing to come home, and that you will work for a while and apply for a student loan and go to college.
Please understand that it is not all parents that can afford to pay to send their children to college. Many children have had to pay their own way.
Encourage your sister to call the pest control people to treat her house, but don't give her the impression that you do not appreciate her hospitality.