Woman claims my deacon husband got her pregnant


November 11, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a 40-year-old woman and my husband is 53. We have five children. We have been living at the same place for 15 years.

My husband has a car and he has got very friendly with a young lady who lives near to us. She works with the Government. She has a child. I don't know anything about the child's father, but my husband has been giving the boy lunch money and the woman is always texting him. She is around 25 years old.

I warned my husband about this girl. I told him that he is a deacon at his church and this girl will give him bad name. He brushed off my suggestion. Now, the girl is pregnant and has called my husband's name. He told me that he can swear on the Bible that he never went to bed with her. I told him that she wouldn't call his name if he never went there.

The pastor from the church heard what people were saying and called a meeting with the elders.

He convinced them that the girl is lying on him. The church asked him to step down. Two of the elders went to see the girl and she gave them a proper cursing. I am so ashamed.

My husband and I have been married for 17 years. I know he runs his jokes with girls, but I don't know him to be a womaniser. I cannot defend him because I warned him about this girl and he didn't listen. Sometimes I don't even feel like going to church.


A neighbour told me that she said she can get any man because her vagina is tight. If she is carrying my husband's child, I would encourage him to support it, but she will not get him; not over my dead body.

For the last five months, my husband has not gone to church due to this rumour. I don't even feel like going, either. The children are hearing what people are saying, and I told them not to listen to what people say about their father.


Dear T.M.,

Perhaps your husband has been a little careless with this girl, but I would suggest that you stand by your man.

You are making the mistake that so many woman have made by believing that a woman would not state she was impregnated by a man if he had never had sex with her. That is not true, my dear.

Women have claimed that men have had intercourse with them, and some of these men have never had anything to do with them.

A man doesn't have to have sex with a woman for her to call his name. Sometimes she sees him as a good catch or she might believe that by calling his name, especially if he is married, his wife may offer her money to keep her mouth shut.

It will only be a matter of time before you find out if he is guilty or not. And please understand that men can help women with their children, but that does not mean that these men are the biological fathers.

I hope that your husband would have the courage to go back to church. I know that he feels embarrassed because he has been removed from every position he has held in the church.

In due time, his positions may be restored and the truth will be revealed. He has to learn to 'shun the very appearance of evil' and 'walk circumspectly'. You can be a great encouragement to this man by giving him moral support.


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