He wants my niece, not me


November 12, 2016

Dear Pastor

I am 43 and my niece is 18. Her boyfriend is 41. I am living in rural Jamaica and they are living in Kingston. The problem started when I wasn't working. I told my niece that I had lost my job and she told me she knew a friend who could find a job for me, so she introduced me to him. He had a lovely voice that would attract any woman. He seemed to be a nice person. I told her that he should call me.

After talking with him for a long time, we decided to meet in downtown Kingston. When I saw him, he was cute and a gentleman. He took my luggage and carried them for me. He carried me to the place I was staying. I was born in Kingston, but I was only living in the country. I was given a clean apartment. This man always had a smile and an average woman would be impressed. I washed, cooked, cleaned and saw to it that he had breakfast to carry to work and at nights I gave him a cup of tea with his dinner and some juice. A lady in the house told me that I could cook and she admired the way I took care of him. She told me I should not leave him because he doesn't have luck with women. I confronted him about what I was told and he said it was a lie, but I believed the woman. He called his aunts overseas and told them how I cared for him and one of them told him that he should never leave me. She also told me not to leave him because he does not have any luck.

My niece began to text him and he showed me every text. I read them and tried to get rid of her. He went behind my back and texted her. He said he never kissed her and she never hugged him as I do. The only thing he did to her was to fondle her. I spent two months and two weeks with him and returned home. Four days after he called me and told me that he was involved with my niece and she was at his home. I asked him whether they were intimate and he said that they were only friends. I knew something was fishy but I held my peace. Then he told me that they were dating and he was going to send her back to school. I told him to carry the things he had in the house for me.

Pastor, I really and truly love this man, but his lifestyle stinks. I do not think I can trust men anymore.

Y. S.

Dear Y. S.

You knew from the very beginning that this man wanted to have an intimate relationship with you and that he was a liar. He might have told you that he will employ you, but it was not long before you discovered that you were taking him away from your niece. You cannot convince me that you were ignorant of that fact.

This man never abandoned your niece. He had sex with you and had sex with your niece and now they are living together. He is a dirty guy. And you have behaved as a simple woman. I wish that you would be much more careful in the future.


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