Am I a bad girl?


November 18, 2016

Dear Pastor,

Please don't condemn me. I heard you talking about poverty, so I decided to write to you and tell you a story. I am 26 years old. I left home when I was 19 because things were very bad. I am the fourth child for my mother. My father was not supporting us. My mother tried her best by buying and selling goods.

When I was 18, I came home from school and was lying on the bed, having period pain. My mother did not know I was home. She was in the kitchen cooking.

When my father came home, my mother was fussing with him over money. He said that he didn't have any and my mother said to him, "What do you want me to do, go out and sell my body?" And my father said to her, "You did it before, so what's new?" My mother said, "I have never done it, but you are forcing me to do it. That is what you are sending me to do." My mother was shocked when she realised I was home.

When I decided to leave home, I reminded my mother what she said to my father and my mother said she did not mean it and if she knew I was there, she would not have said it. But she knew that he had other women, that is why he never has any money.

I went to live with a man twice my age. He promised that he would not get me pregnant. This man was married, but his wife was a nurse working in the US. I had to pretend during the day that I was his helper. I went to school in the evenings and he paid for everything. I go to see my mother every week and I gave her money. He gave me $2,000 extra every week to give my mother. His wife called me and spoke to me, believing that I was a helper. When she asked me my age, I gave her a wrong age.


When she was about to come to Jamaica, my boyfriend told me. He got another place for me to live and told her that I had left the job. She believed him. They do not have children.

Do you think I am bad? My mother loves him, but she doesn't know that he is married. I have a guy abroad and he is planning to marry me. That is the only way I would leave this man.


Dear R.E.,

I hope that this man with whom you have worked and pretended all along that he is your employer knows about this guy who lives abroad. I don't want to say that you are bad. You are very clever. I hope that he would indeed come to Jamaica and marry you.

Your mother has tried. Whether or not she meant what she told your father, you will never know. Women say that to men all the time and they don't mean it. On the other hand, there are some men who prostitute their women and get money from them. I doubt your mother was willing to sell her body.

I can't commend you for the life you are living. I hope that you will get married and turn your life around. I wish you well.


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