'Matey' refuses to leave my dad alone


June 15, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I am living with my father and brother. My father and mother are not divorced; she is only in the US working.

My father has a girlfriend and she is at our house. She thinks that my parents are divorced.

She keeps saying to me that I will soon be 18 and then I will have to leave. I hate this woman. Every time I tell my father what she says, he tells me not to make her wiser.

This woman is so stupid. My father met her when he was working on a project in a certain parish. My father told her that she could come and visit because his wife is away.

Suddenly, she appeared with a bag and her clothes, without advising him that she was coming. My father had to explain to my brother and myself why she was here.

When my father saw her, he started to tremble and spoke to my brother and myself, asking us not to tell our mother about this woman.

We are living in a three-bedroom house and my father asked me to give up my room for her to stay.

She asked my father why I had to give up my room and why she couldn't sleep with him. So, she has been sleeping with my father. It has been three months now and she is not leaving.

Whenever my mother calls, I have to be lying to her by telling her that everything at the house is all right.

All my mother's clothes are still in the closet and her pictures are in place. I am begging my mother to come back soon so that she can catch her and give her a beating.

Pastor, can you imagine a woman just walked in like that and wants to take over, and not leaving? Well, that is happening at our house. My father told her to go, but she says that she is not ready as yet.

I told my dad that whenever my mother calls and he is at home, I am going to tell her everything that is going on and let her talk to this woman. I can't stand this type of life anymore.

My mother is working and she sends money home every week. I am going to get on very bad if this woman spends another week here.


Dear J.D.,

Your father is to be blamed for allowing this woman to be at the house. He lied to her and she believed what he said, and she showed up because, evidently, she was trying to find a man.

You should tell your father that it is time for him to tell the woman the truth and to ask her to go. If she refuses, he may have to get the police to help him throw her out. But, you should not get involved.

What I would suggest that you do is whenever your mother calls and your father is at home, tell your mother that you would like her to speak to your father about a matter.

If he refuses to talk about the matter, then you should explain to your mother what is going on and let her take it from there.

This woman is very silly, but if your father won't speak up and put her out, your brother and your should protest.

I don't believe that your father would allow her to stay one more day if he sees that his children are fed up with the situation at home.


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