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I went back to my abusive husband
June 23, 2018
Dear Pastor,
I got married to my husband because he showed me love and he assisted me financially when I was down. He loved my kids. He became aggressive and abusive after we got married. Rage, hate and anger took my love away from him. I reported him to the police, and he was locked up. We were separated for a while, and then we got back together because I remembered why I got married to him - I loved him. He is not working at present, but he helps me. He is not physically abusing me anymore, and he is not financially stable right now.
It took a while for me to regain that unconditional love I had for him because in the back of my mind, I was thinking that he would verbally and physically abuse me again. I continue to love him because he is my husband, but I don't know if he loves me. However, I continue to try to love him, and I look to God for guidance.
If he returns to his abusive ways, I am leaving him for good. It is really a questionable relationship because at times, he seems really loving.
Confused
Dear Confused,
You did not say whether you and this man went for counselling. You write as if you are relying heavily on luck. I could be wrong. I know that you are an intelligent woman, and you were quite correct in involving the police. You see that your husband is trying to control his anger, and you are cooperating with him. You are not an ungrateful woman. You know he has tried his best in assisting you, but sometimes his anger gets the better of him. It is very, very important for both of you to sit with a counsellor and talk. You sometimes feel uneasy, and you would like to know whether this man is happy with you. You shouldn't try to find out everything that is on his mind, but you at least want to know if he is happy with you.
He has his faults, and you have your faults. You are not always right, and he is not always right, but when people love each other unconditionally, even when they have verbal fights, they stay together and seek professional help. So, I suggest that you stay together. Don't give up on your husband. You know by now that good men are hard to find.
Pastor
