My side chick said she 'tied' me

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I have had a girlfriend since I was going to high school. She was attending the same school and her father was a politician. He used to give her lots of money for lunch, and she used to help me out with money. He was very strict, but we used to find time to meet each other. I had another girlfriend, and she was much older than me. So, because of that, I spent lots of time with her. Her friends used to tell her to leave the schoolboy alone, but she told them that they were jealous of her because I am a man and a good man, too.

She had a son, and whenever the little boy wanted to go anywhere, she would ask me to take him because his father was a worthless man and wasn't showing any interest in him. The little boy stuck on to me. I could go to her house anytime. We started to have sex, and she told me that I got her pregnant. I did not believe her, but she was really pregnant. She told me that if I wasn't in school, she wouldn't 'throw away the belly', but I was in school and it wouldn't look good on her part - people would say that she was robbing the cradle.

THREATS MADE

I was really scared, so I stopped going to her house. She told me on the phone that if I don't come back to see her, she was going to let my mother know that she was pregnant for me. I went and pleaded with her not to call my name. We started to have sex again. I didn't want to do it, but we did and she told me that she was testing me.

This woman is now 40 years old, and I am in my late 20s and we are still going on. She told me that she tied me to her and my girlfriend can't do anything about it. She is very 'brawling' when she is ready. My girlfriend wants us to get married. My mother found out that this woman and I are together because I am still living at home, and when I go to this woman's house, I sleep over, but I can't sleep at my actual girlfriend's house. She is a Christian now, and she says no more sex until we get married.

I do not know what to do because I don't want to leave my Christian girl. But I can't walk away from this other woman, either. I wanted to buy a car, and she gave me $250,000 to help me purchase the car. If I leave her, I will have to give her back her money.

My girlfriend tells me that it is time for me to go to university, but the other one says I don't need university because I have common sense. I am confused, pastor.

R.O.

Dear R.O.,

The relationship that you have had with this woman has been going on for a long time. She likes it, and evidently you like her because she is able to give you anything you want. This is a woman you should not have gotten involved with in the first place. She believes that she has the power to tie you, as people commonly say, and evidently you believe that is exactly what she has done.

You are going to have to make up your mind about what is good for you and what is bad for you. I am sure that by now your childhood lover knows that you are fooling around with another woman. She should leave you because you are probably a stumbling block in her way. You said you got the woman pregnant and she aborted the pregnancy. The question is, why are you still with her? You know that you do not want her to be your wife, so brace yourself for whatever she wants to do and leave her. When she was pregnant, she threatened to tell your mother that she was carrying your child. That sort of threat should not have prevented you from moving on.

If you don't leave that woman right away, your bona fide girl should leave you. I suggest that you go to the bank and take out a loan, in the amount of what this woman gave you to buy the car, and pay her off. In fact, whatever you have borrowed from her, pay it back and free up yourself.

The advice that your girlfriend gave to you about going to university is good. She means you well. She wants to have an educated husband and you should accept that advice and pursue a good education. Young man, don't waste precious time, leave this woman and go back to school. Stick with your childhood sweetheart. Stop believing that this older woman has tied you to her. Walk away from her.

Pastor