Husband used to 'service' my close friend


September 13, 2018

Dear Pastor,

My husband and I are retired. We have two children. They are grown and living in Canada. We are living in Jamaica. We go to see them sometimes. They are not coming back to live in Jamaica, but we are not leaving Jamaica. My husband is not very strong; he is much older than I. He still does his gardening, and we are happy. He is a good man. He doesn't give me trouble anymore.

When he was younger, I used to have a hard time with him. He was wild, but he just suddenly stopped. He doesn't have any outside children. Now that he has got much older, when I asked him about his old-time girlfriends, he laughs. I didn't know that one of these women and I were schoolmates. One day I asked her if she ever had a relationship with my husband, and she denied it and said that my husband is going out of his head.

My husband was very upset when I told him that I asked her. I did not mean any harm when I asked her about it. She was never married. So my husband said that he regularly 'serviced' her.

After I forgave this woman, my husband became ill one night, and she was the first to come and help rush him to the hospital. And when I had to go to the supermarket, she would come and stay with him, but I know that they are not going on with anything because my husband can't manage these days.

My husband told me that he is not going to tell me anything when I ask him questions because I chat too much. I just couldn't imagine that this woman who was so close to me was having an affair with my husband. I never had a clue.


Dear R.P.,

I am happy to know that you and your husband are getting along well. He did not have to tell you who he had relationships while being married to you. And frankly, you should not have asked this lady whether it is true that she had an intimate relationship with your husband. The past is the past, and it would not help the marriage if you knew the name of every women who went to bed with your husband.

I am glad that this woman was in a position to rush your husband to the hospital. This woman, I am sure, was embarrassed when you asked her if she had an intimate relationship with your husband. But I am glad that she has continued to be your friend. It's not everything your husband told you that you should question. Some things should never be repeated. Learn to keep your mouth shut. Your husband is not wrong in telling you that you talk too much.


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