Don’t want pregnancy to stop my studies

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 and I am pregnant for my boyfriend. He had two of us girlfriends.

When I found out about the other girl, I told him that he must stop talking to her. He said I did not need to worry because he has chosen me over her. I accepted his word. But I promised myself that I would not have sex with him without protection. But I did not know that I was already pregnant. He said that he knew that I had got pregnant and when it happened.

I feel like killing myself because I was accepted to do nursing and now I have this pregnancy. My father said I have let him down. I cried and got down on my knees and begged my father to forgive me. Now that I am pregnant, this guy is telling me that he has left the girl. They are both 20. I took the guy to meet my parents and he promised that he would do his best and support our child. He is working with a businesswoman who treats him as her son. I am still hoping that although I am pregnant, I will be able to enter nursing. I hope that is possible.

My stomach is not showing. But this guy has told the other girl that I am pregnant, so he has to leave her. She does not like that at all. I know you are going to say that I am old enough to know that I should not have sex without using protection. I thought that my boyfriend would have walked with protection whenever we met, but he didn’t always have it.

I have a sister who is 14 and my mother said that I have let her down; I should have been a better example for her. My father said that he has not given up on me. I told him thanks.

O

Dear O.,

Pray daily for your parents, especially your daddy. Dry your tears.

You have made mistakes, and the biggest one so far is that you relied on your boyfriend to protect you from pregnancy. Let me tell you straight up that no woman should rely on her man to protect her from pregnancy. If they are using the condom, she should always, and I repeat, always have condoms with her.

In the excitement of foreplay, a man may not even want to use the condom, but his girl should always bear in mind that she is the one who would carry the pregnancy. You should not have forgotten in the heat of things that you want to be a nurse. What I have said does not mean that I am condemning you. No I am not, but I am trying to send a message to all women, especially women in your age group.

Sometimes when girls tell me they don’t know how they got pregnant, I always say, “I know how you got pregnant; you had sex.” Does that mean that I am calling them silly? No, they got turned on by the men and in the heat of things, they forgot themselves.

Your dad told you that you let him down, but he has not pushed you out of his house as some parents have done. The young man has visited them. Let us hope that he keeps his promise to do his best to support you. Let us all hope that you will be able to start your nursing course even while you are pregnant.

Pastor