My husband won’t let me take a holiday alone

Dear Pastor,

I am a married woman in my 40s. I got married when I was 29 years old.

My husband and I have two children together. He wants to have more children, but I do not. Before we got married, I told him that I wanted to do more studies. He said he did not believe that was necessary. He is a good provider, so if I wanted to stop working, he wouldn’t have a problem with that.

Anyhow, I am still working, and I am doing courses with a university online. I try my best to be available to my husband regularly. Some of my friends ask me how I am able to satisfy him while keeping up with my studies. I told them when it comes to my man, I will not neglect him at all. Anytime my husband needs me, I am available. And my grades are up. I do not neglect my children.

Sometimes my mother stays with us for a few days and that takes the pressure off of me with the cooking. She gets along very well with my husband. Anytime my husband and I have a disagreement, she takes his side. So, it doesn’t make any sense complaining to her. I have been suggesting to my husband that we should take two weeks’ vacation in December, and he said that he has no objection to us going if my mother would come with us.

When I suggested to my mother that she could come with us, she said that I should know that is a bad time of the year. She will not leave her husband, and he will not want to travel abroad during that time. He would want to be in Jamaica to enjoy Christmas with some family members. He is also active in church. Christmas time is very special at his church.

I can really use the break, but my husband is not going to allow me to go alone. My husband will only agree if my mother and the children go together. I consider his position to be unreasonable. But he is such a good man that it doesn’t make any sense fussing with him.

F.

Dear F.,

You have a good man and you are a wise woman. Your man makes you very happy.

He loves you and he supports the children and yourself well. Your mother loves him because he treats you well. To her, he is a great son-in-law. You can plan a vacation for another time. Why does it have to be in the month of December? Your mother doesn’t want to be away from her husband around that time. Your father wants to enjoy Christmas in Jamaica. So, compromise with your husband; choose a different month. Perhaps you should consider taking the trip around next Easter. Be wise. Work with your husband.

I am glad that you are back in school. I wish more people would learn to study online. If they do so, they would have more time for their children and save much money.

Pastor