Parents don’t like my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you. I am 21 years old and I am attending a university.

I want to become an educator. I do not know if I will make it, but I am trying my best. From I was 18 years old, I became friendly with a young man. He was always telling me how much he admires me. He is five years my senior. He works with his father. He told his father that he likes me so, whenever his father sees me, he says “Hi, daughter-in-law.” I find his father to be a very nice man but my mother does not like my boyfriend’s family. She says that they are not nice people. But she has never told me what fault she has found with them.

This guy is of real help to me. He takes me to school and he picks me up in the evenings. He sees to it that he takes me to school or anywhere that I am supposed to be. I appreciate him so much. I told my mother that it would be hard for me to break up with him, as he has been so nice to me. I really like this guy and I refuse to leave him just because my mother says that his relatives are not nice people. He is neither a fool nor a dunce. His father runs a good business, so I don’t believe that it would be fair to walk away from this man. I would not even know how to do so.

Since I started to attend university, he has assisted me to buy books. What do you think that I should do?

W.

Dear W.,

I think your parents, especially your mother, should explain to you what is the objection to this relationship.

I hasten to say, however, that parents have the right to caution their children if they are aware that they are in a relationship that is not good and might hurt them in the years ahead. The parents may know things that have happened years ago that people remember and cause them not to want to trust the family.

Not all women are good, and neither are all men. Which man, for example would love to have a daughter who has got involved with a gunman, or a man who is involved in illegal activities? But parents do not just say something and leave it there; they should explain their objection to their children. How much do you know about this guy’s background? You should question him. Find out whether he had anybody who went to prison and for what crime. You would ultimately have to make your own decision, so I hope your parents would tell you the truth and make it easier for you.

Pastor