My dad doesn’t care that I may be a ‘jacket’

Dear Pastor,

I greet you in the name of Jesus. I am a 17-year-old Christian.

I do not know my biological father. When I was 10 years old, I found out that the man I called daddy is not my true father. One day there was a disagreement at the house and my older brother beat me and called me a ‘jacket’. My mother was very upset. My brother told my mother that everybody knows that I am not one of them.

My brother was 15 at the time. My mother packed his clothes and sent him to live with our grandmother. When my stepfather came home from work and asked for him, my mother told him that she sent him to live with his grandmother because he beat me and called me a jacket. My stepfather told her that she should not have sent him away because he was told a long time ago that I am a jacket, and that I do not resemble him or anybody on his side of the family.

My stepfather and mother had a big fight that caused other relatives to get involved. My stepfather never treated me as a jacket; he supported just like the other children. When I was 16, I asked one of my aunts if she believed that I am a jacket and she said that I look different from the others and only my mother can say whether I am my stepfather’s biological child. But she said I should not let that bother me because I couldn’t have a better father than the man who has taken me as his daughter.

This man is sending me to HEART and he gives me money every week. My aunt promised that she would ask my mother what is the truth about me. When she asked my mother, she told her that she is not the only one in the family who has cheated on their men, so she should not ask her anything. Right now, I am not interested in finding out whether or not I am a jacket. I love this man to my heart. He told my aunt that he has been ‘wearing the jacket’ proudly because I am a good girl and I am going to make him a very happy man.

F.

Dear F.,

I hope the day will come when your mother would feel comfortable and discuss this matter with you.

However, I think she gave away herself when she told your aunt that she is not the only one in the family who has cheated. She might be saying that there was another man in her life while she was having a relationship with your stepfather, the man you now call your father. I just want to say to you, continue to love this man. He is the only father you have known; make him proud of you by doing well in school. Whatever might have happened between your mother and any other man, please forgive her.

As for your brother who first called you a jacket, forgive him and don’t hold what he said about you against him. Take good care of yourself young woman.

Pastor