Church women telling my wife nonsense about sex

Dear Pastor,

I am a 28-year-old man and my wife is the same age. We are members of a particular church.

This church is messing up the minds of the young women. When my wife and I got married, we used to practise different positions in bed. But when my wife started to attend the women’s meetings of the church, she changed. When I wanted us to do certain positions, she objected. She told me that from what she is being taught, as Christians, the best position for us to do is what is called the missionary position.

I want to find out from you whether that is true. How can my wife and I be doing something wrong if we are married? Can you tell us to look at anywhere in the Bible where the missionary position is the only way a couple should have sex? Before we were Christians and joined the church, having sex in different positions was never a problem. But now my wife is listening to what the older women are telling them in the church. At times, I like my wife to be on top, but even that she questions whether that is right for her to do.

All I am trying to find out from you, Sir, is whether it is wrong to do any other position but the missionary one.

J

Dear J.,

I consider what these women are telling your wife to be foolishness.

I do not know anywhere in the Bible I can tell you to look to prove that the missionary position is what your wife and you should engage in because it is the most scriptural position. There are many things I could say, but I am so conscious that children read my column every week. So there is information that should be given, but I have to withhold it because the information might be for mature people. That is one of the reasons why I often suggest from time to time that couples should go to see a family counsellor.

I could say this: having sexual intercourse can be very enjoyable when a couple engages in various positions occasionally. The missionary position has its place, but a couple may want to try other positions. I will stop right here. You should know how to handle this situation because you and your woman engaged in sexual intercourse before you got married and joined the church. Let me quickly make this point, there are many good books that are written by Christian counsellors that you and your wife should buy and read together. Or you may do a little research on the Internet about sex and lovemaking, etc.

It is amazing that although your wife is young, she is listening to the nonsense that these women are telling her at the church.

Pastor