Confused about my child's father and my boyfriend


February 25, 2016

Dear Pastor,

This is my first time writing to you. I am having some problems and I need your help. My child's father and I broke up after seven years of relationship and I started talking to this other guy. I fell so much in love with him. The problem is that my child's father looks like he is getting mad because I have a boyfriend. He started talking to himself.

I got to realise that my boyfriend is a liar and a player but I love him and I don't know what to do because my child's father did so much bad things to me when I was with him, and now that my boyfriend is doing the same I am afraid. I don't want to leave my boyfriend because I don't want many men to say that they had sex with me. What should I do?


Dear Pain,

Old-time people would say that you jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. You are indeed very unfortunate as you left your child's father because you believed that this other guy was much better, but now you have come to realise that he is the same. If you were to leave your present boyfriend and get with another man, people would indeed say that you are a bad girl. Often a girl bears bad name when she moves from man to man. People may call the men "gallis" but they don't often hold men to the same standard that they hold women, so you have to be very careful now what you do.

You know that your present boyfriend is a player and he is not better than your child's father. You say you don't want to leave him so I hope that both of you would be able to resolve your problems. I doubt you can do it on your own. Therefore, I would suggest that you go to see a family counsellor.


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