My stepfather won't stop staring at me


November 08, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I am living with my mother and stepfather. I have a brother, but he is living abroad and going to school. My mother used to live on her own, but four years ago she came to live with this man. My mother is a schoolteacher.

My father supported my brother and I. He couldn't marry my mother because he was already married. When my mother had my brother and I, his wife didn't know about it. But when she found out, she left my father. But after a while, she took him back. My father always supports us.

My stepfather has no manners. I would be in my room and my stepfather would just open the door without knocking. My mother told him that I am a girl, so he should knock before entering. He asked her what I had to hide. He also told her that if she didn't like what he was doing, she should find a place and put me. My mother is afraid of him. I don't ask him for anything. Sometimes I catch him staring at me. I don't know what he is looking for.

He and my mother are always arguing. He always wants to borrow her car, and whenever she tells him that she is not letting him use it, he curses her. Everywhere my mother goes she takes me, because she is afraid that my stepfather will try something. But I am old enough to protect myself. So far he is only looking at me, but he has not tried anything.

My mother has a plan that may shock him. I know she is planning to leave him. My father has given her some money to help her purchase a house. I am dying to see that happen. This man just likes to dress up and drive my mother's car as if it is his.


Dear W.T.,

I am sorry to hear that your stepfather makes you feel very uncomfortable. He ought to know that he should knock and wait for an answer before entering your room. He ought not to be opening the door and entering without knocking. He is very out of order to tell your mother that if she doesn't like what he is doing, she should find a place and put you.

Your mother made mistakes, but I am glad that your father continues to support you and your brother. You must feel very uneasy with your stepfather, who is always staring at you.

The truth is that you should not be living at his house. I don't mean to imply that your mother should just pack up and leave; she might not be able to do so right away. She is hoping to purchase a house with the help of your father. I hope that when that is done, she would not invite your stepfather to move in with her.

I wish you and your mother well. I hope you and your brother, who is studying abroad, will make her proud. Be very careful. Let your mother know everything that is happening to you.


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