My girlfriend thinks I am an ATM

Dear Pastor,

I am in my early 20s, and I have a girlfriend who is very jealous.

We are not living together, but I visit her very often – two or three times per week. Every time I go to see her, she asks me for money. She knows that I am trying my best to further my education. When I mentioned that to her, she says that we can’t eat education. I try to give her $6,000 to $8,000 whenever I visit her, but she tells me that can’t support a big woman. Whenever she sees me talking to another girl, she gets upset.

I like football and I take her with me, but I have to keep away from the other girls who are attending the match because she accuses me of having a relationship with every girl I talk to. I am very innocent about that. I have to give my mother money to help pay the bills and to buy food for the house. My father does not live with us. Sometimes I ask myself, “How come my mother is satisfied with whatever I give to her and this girl can’t be satisfied with whatever I give to her?”

I have been wondering whether I should leave this girl because she said something to me that I did not like. She asked me for some money, but I only had $6,000. I gave her $5,000 and kept $1,000 for transportation, but she started to fuss. I told her that I had just given my mother some money and she did not fuss, she was thankful for it. My girlfriend said I should remember that I am not having sex with my mother, I am having sex with her, so she should get more money from me. I told her I was not expecting her to say that to me. She said I should not pick up what I can’t manage. So, I am wondering whether I should continue to have a relationship with her.

It is not difficult to find another girl. I introduced her to my mother, who loves her, but I can’t tell my mother what she said.

R.

Dear R.,

You are not under any obligation to support this girl. I do not mean to imply that you should not assist her financially, occasionally.

But she is very out of order, and she should be glad that you are giving her money. It is what you can afford to give to her. She does not seem to appreciate what you are doing. She is a very disrespectful girl. I cannot encourage you to continue to have a love relationship with her. If you do, she is likely to drain your pocket. So you should let her know how you feel about what she said and that you are trying your best to help her, and she should not expect you to give her money every week.

Tell her you are prepared to find another girl.

Pastor