This man asks too many questions

Dear Pastor,

I am a 38-year-old single mother. My 10-year-old son lives with me.

A couple of months ago, I was waiting at a bus stop when a car stopped and the driver asked me if I needed a ride. I told him I was waiting for the taxi or a bus. He enquired where I was going and I told him. He said he was going that way, so he could give me a ride. I told him thanks. I went into his vehicle and then he said that he admired the way I was dressed.

He asked me if I am a Christian and I told him I was trying to be one. He said he is also trying, as he used to be a dedicated Christian, but he backslid. He asked me about my husband and I told him I did not have one. He asked, “How can you be such an attractive woman and not have a man?” He said I must have a boyfriend, but I told him no. This man wanted to know whether I am living alone. I told him my son and I are living together. I told him I was not comfortable with him asking me these questions as I do not know him.

He said he does not have anybody in his life, but he was not looking for a wife because he has been single for 18 months. He dropped me to my gate and we exchanged numbers. He called me a few days later and wanted to know where I work. I told him, but I made a mistake and gave him my work number. One Friday afternoon, the receptionist told me that my husband was on the line. I asked her if she was sure that call was for me; she said yes. When I got on the line, I realised that it was this man. I asked him why he told the receptionist that I was his wife; he said he did not want to give his name. He asked me if he could pick me up from work. I told him that I would have to stop to pick up my son, and he agreed.

He took us home and asked whether he could come in. I told him I was not prepared; I was not expecting anybody, so the place was not very tidy. I allowed him in while I went to change and my son went out to play with his friends. This man kept his eyes on me from the bedroom to the kitchen and questioned me. He wanted to know whether my child’s father supports him. I got tired of his questions, so I told him that I am not going to answer any more and he should not overstay his welcome. He asked whether I meant he should leave.

He left, and after about three hours, he called me and said I insulted him. I know that I have not insulted this man, but his questions turned me off. We can talk about anything, but I will not give him more information about myself. He said he loves me and would like to know more about me. Someone who saw us together told me that he was deported. Whether he was or not, I don’t like this man. He is not my type. Well, he called me the following day and wanted to know if I would invite him for dinner. I lied and told him that my son’s father was coming for dinner.

I have not seen my son’s father in five years, but I lied because I didn’t want this man to come to my house. Without informing me, he showed up at my workplace the Monday evening and offered to take me home. When I went into his car, I told him that it was the last time I was going to allow him to take me home, and that I did not want to see him again. When we got home, he asked whether he could come in and I told him no. He said that I had insulted him again. I told him I was not interested in him; he was fishing in the wrong pond. He keeps calling me until I felt that I should block him. The man is short, and wants to know everything about me.

Do you think that I handled this matter well? I will be looking out for your answer.

T.

Dear T.,

Evidently, this man is trying to find a partner. He might have spoken the truth when he said he admired the way you were attired.

He asks too many questions, and even if you were interested in him, he turned you off. How you dealt with the matter was good enough. You did not see him as the person with whom you wanted to have a relationship. You don’t have anything to worry about. He should be able to find another woman.

Pastor