Three months and I am tired of his nonsense


October 23, 2015

Dear Pastor,

It is Friday evening and I am sitting here waiting for my boyfriend to come and take me for dinner. We have been going for three months, but I am fed up with him already. I gave him a chance in my life, but it is like I am wasting my precious time. He is the seventh boyfriend that I am trying. Last week Friday after dinner, he came home with me and slept over. When he left on Sunday I thought how stupid I was and I called him and told him that he should not expect that from me every time we go out. He asked me how would we end the night and I told him it does not have to end with sex.

Pastor, I am only 27 going on 28 and what I have found out about these guys is that they come for what they can get. When I love, I love with my whole heart. I thought I would have been married already. I started to have sex early, but I cannot stand nonsense, so when these guys get out of line, I tell them to go.

This guy is educated and he is very quiet. The only time he talks a lot is when he is making love to me. I hear the sweetest words and when he is finished he clamps up. It is now 8 o'clock, where is this man? He is not answering his cell phone. Could it be he is with another woman? Should I try another man? I never had sex with an uneducated man. All my boyfriends are educated. I cannot introduce an uneducated person to my mother.

OK pastor, I am gone. I know he will be here and I know he would lie as to where he was. I will tell you how my weekend went. Keep up your good work.


Dear F.M.,

You might be surprised to hear me say that I believe that you are a good girl. Yes, it's true that you have had seven relationships, but I believe that part of your problem is that you are too easy to get. You give yourself over to these guys too soon. You and this guy have known each other for three months and he is already spending weekends with you. Yes, you told him that he should not expect that every Friday, but that's after the damage has been done. This guy won't take you seriously anyhow even if you were to say that to him.

Having said the above, I concede that part of your problem is that you are probably eager to get married and you are seeking a perfect man. Such man is not around. You will not find him. Perhaps also you feel that because you are educated you can talk to a man who is not on the same level with you any how you feel. And these men would not allow you to talk to them in any manner. If you were to raise your voice at them and tell them off, they will walk away because in spite of what some women may believe, women are not scarce and if a man's goal is just to have sex with a woman, he can find women anywhere to satisfy his sexual appetite.

If you are seeking a husband you should get to know the man for a long time. Check him out. Understand his background because when a woman moves from man to man she develops a very bad reputation and other guys would say bad things about her. This present guy that you are hoping will stay with you is probably busy tonight. He is probably in a meeting and he has to have his cell phone off. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is with another woman.

I hope you wouldn't tear into him when he comes and accuse him of something that you are not sure about. For your own sanity, I hope he shows up.


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