Pregnant! Now I'm afraid to go to church


October 27, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and the mother of one child. I am presently pregnant. I didn't expect this to happen to me again. When I got pregnant the first time I failed myself and my parents. Now that I am carrying my second child my family has given up on me and the young man who got me pregnant is one year younger than I am and he does not have a steady job. When I told him that I missed my period he did not believe me because he used the condom. I know he used the condom because we had sex in his car and he took the condom from the car pocket and put it on. The condom must have broken and we were not aware of it. After I went to the doctor and realised that I am indeed pregnant he said that he would accept the child because he knew that I am not the playing around type and he was the only guy that I was having sex with. I am so ashamed because after I had my first child I went back to church and rededicated my life and was teaching Sunday school and singing on the choir. I am ashamed to go to church because everybody would be looking at me. The young people see me as a mentor. I don't even want to walk on the street. This guy does not have anything so he cannot marry me and he would not be my first choice in a husband. This would be his first child and he told my parents that he would do his best to support the child. Sometimes I feel so sick and when I tell him he says he is sick too.


Dear B.S.,

Have your baby. It is likely that the condom indeed broke. You said he took the condom from the car pocket. Condoms should not be kept in a hot temperature. It is said that condoms should not even be kept in a guy's wallet for a long time because body temperature can affect the condom. I am glad you have decided to carry the pregnancy. Your parents are disappointed in you again but the young man has promised to do his best to help you. Are my thoughts running away with me? Tell me the truth, you said you would not have chosen this man to be your husband. How come you were quite comfortable in having sex with him? If he is not good enough to be your husband, how is he good enough to have sexual intercourse with you? Were you having sex with this man for money? What in the world am I missing here? This guy might not have a whole lot but I believe he has given you some financial help in exchange for your "something". I am not condemning you but you should have been much more careful.


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