He left me for wishing my male friend a happy birthday


October 23, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old. People may judge me, but that's not what I am here for. I need your advice. I met this guy online three months ago on a dating site, and he is from Kingston. He used to be a police officer in Jamaica before he went to live in the States. He is now in the US military. We never met in person, but we talk and video call each other almost every day for hours. He was supposed to visit Jamaica in September, but I wasn't here. I was away working, and it ended up that he came down in August, so I missed the chance of meeting him.

To cut a long story short, we talked about what we were going to do when he comes back to Jamaica in December. After I returned from my trip in October, he asked me to stay because I was supposed to leave Jamaica again in December for work, and he promised me that if I stayed, he would make it his priority to come and visit me. Deep down, I was scared that it might not work, but I said to myself that maybe it can work.


One night I called him and told him that I was going on the road with my male friends. I have a driver's licence, so they pay me to drive if it's a long trip. The calls from him got less and less, but he still sends me good morning and good night messages. Whenever he is going to drive to a long distance, he would tell me before he leaves for the journey. He called me, saying that he was driving to Canada, so I said maybe he wanted some time for himself.

Anyway, it was one of my good friend's birthday, so I posted his picture and said happy birthday. I received a text message from my boyfriend saying that I am a liar and I knew I had a man, so why did I start a relationship with him. When I opened the message, he blocked me. I never felt so hurt in my life. I tried calling him, but he blocked all my numbers and he deleted me off all his social media. I used my other number to WhatsApp him and he replied: "Go and be with your man and leave me alone." Even when I explained to him that the guy was only a social friend, he still doesn't believe.

Since I met my boyfriend, I have never entertained another guy or even had sex with anyone. Maybe he had second thoughts and was waiting on me to do something to cut me off. I am so confused, because I never thought being nice and caring could turn out to be this way. Let me know what you think, please.


Dear T.S.,

This man that you call your boyfriend is a waste of time. He knows that he was not serious about you. You were treating him as a nice individual, but evidently you were wrong. You shouldn't believe a word he says. If he is upset over what you did, both of you could have talked about it. Evidently, he wanted to break up with you and was looking for an opportunity. Don't shed a tear over this man.


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