Sex with my man sent me to the doctor


October 26, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I am writing to you for your help. I am having a relationship with a man who is 40 years old. The relationship is only six months old, but we are having problems. When I met him, I told him that I never had sex. I told him the truth.

I was only fingered by a guy, and he only did it once. He was pressuring me for sex. I liked him, but I did not trust him.

One evening when we went out to buy chicken, we were sitting in the car eating and discussing our relationship. The guy told me that unless he has sex with me the relationship could not go on, because he must have sex. I told him he should wait until the relationship got older. He drew me closer to him and started to curse. He said I am probably not a woman and I don't have vagina. I was so ashamed when he said that.

He pulled my zip down and tried to force his finger inside me. When he could not get through, he unbuckled my belt. I knew I was not going to have sex with him, but I said to myself, let him feel, since he believes that I may not be a woman. He worked his fingers inside my vagina. Then I told him to stop, and he stopped. I told him to take me home, but he refused. I started to cry because I felt humiliated.

When he took me home and got out of his car, I told him not to call me again. He called many times after, but I refused to go out with him again. He was a 28-year-old mechanic. He tried to get back to me many times, but I didn't want him anymore.

This 40-year-old man gives me anything I want. I met him at my workplace. He is a customer where I work. He has money, but that is not the reason why we became friends. We became friends because he is very kind and he knows how to charm a woman. We started to have sex after we went out together for three months. He lives alone in an apartment. I found it strange that he was be living alone, but he told me that his ex-wife and two children are living in America, and that he got a divorce two years ago. He said the house belongs to him and his ex-wife. She does not want the house so he is trying to give her her portion of the value of the house. The house, is valued at $40,000,000, but money is owed on it. In order for him to own the house solely, she is asking him for $20,000,000. He is going to fight her over that.


He wants me to come and live with him. This man is so jealous. Every male I meet when we are together, he questions me about them. I told him I can't deal with that. When it comes to sex, he is very, very rough. The first time we had sex, I bled for a long time and had to go the doctor. I don't bleed anymore. But he is very, very large, and he puts me into some weird positions. I told him that he should hurry up and settle the business with his ex-wife. He says he does not want to get married so soon after his divorce, and I will have to get pregnant first.

I was at his house and a woman showed up. He told me that it was his ex-wife. She said good evening and walked right in. They had a little argument, because he told her that she should have informed him that she was in the island and was coming to see him. Sometimes I wonder if I should bother with this relationship, but he is a good man.

Tell me what you think.


Dear V.E,

I wonder what caused this man's wife to leave him. Indeed, he is a very jealous man, so if both of you are going to make life together, you will have to prepare yourself to be questioned by this man all the time when it comes to the opposite sex. Jealous people are not easy to get along with. Although this man is divorced, the issue of division of property has not been settled, and it may take a long time for that to take place.

Be careful; and remember that if you would love to get married, it is unlikely that he would do so soon.

You say that this man has a very large penis. Perhaps you should discuss this matter with your gynaecologist. Make sure you don't say anything about his ex-wife, but don't just allow this man to use you. I say that because when some men have found women and the women are living with them, they become comfortable and are not thinking about marriage at all. And if the women were to raise the matter with them, they would simply say: "I told you what the situation is, I expect you to wait until I sort myself out." And the sorting out of themselves may go on for many years. So don't allow yourself to be used by this man for a long time.

Although this man is kind and treats you well, remember that you are a young girl and you should not tie up yourself for a long time with a man who technically is still not free. This man may be standing in the way of a guy who is totally free and would like to marry you.

I am not telling you what to do. I am simply saying that you ought to be wise.


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