I don't want to give birth to my rapist's baby
I have been reading your column since I was a little girl. You are the reason I love reading.
I am 22 years old. In July, my friends came to my house, telling me that they were going to meet some guys for something, so I decided to go with them. The guys came on their motor bikes, and they were talking to them. They came over and asked me if I would go with them. I am afraid of bikes, but I went. On the way, one of my friends and one of the guys got into an argument. I tried to resolve the conflict, but it never worked out.
It was getting late, so I told them that I wanted to go home because I have to go to work the following morning. One of guys said he can only take us one at a time, so I decided to go first because I was tired. I told my friends goodbye and then we left.
knife at my throat
I thought I was going home, then suddenly this man took a turn-off into a dark area. I got very angry at him. He then put a knife at my throat, telling me to take off my clothes. I started to fight him off by ringing his hand, and I started to run. While I was running, he pulled me back, so I started to scream and called out to God. I had an asthma attack at the same time. Suddenly, he said that he was not going to have sex with me again. I became a little relieved, and I got off the ground. He started to hold me down again on the ground, and began to cry and ask God to please don't let this man rape me.
I started to feel cold and began to lose consciousness. I could hardly see and could not hear, anything. I laid there and was unable to move. I was blocked out. He then took me on his bike. I jumped off the bike and ran home. When I reached home I locked myself inside. I told myself I would forget about everything. I took a shower and went straight to my bed.
The morning I woke up I could not remember the man's face. In August, my period came, so I believed that I was not pregnant. The next month I never saw my period, and I thought it was because I was stressed. October came, and I still didn't see my menses. I started to get worried and started to have morning sickness and night cramps.
Now, I am pregnant and I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone to talk to. And I don't want to carry a baby that I will never love or I will never appreciate.
I just need your help and advice.
Evidently you were raped, and you never reported it. I can only suggest that you carry the pregnancy, if you are able to do so, and give up the child for adoption. It is a terrible experience you have endured. If the girls were your friends as you say, they should know the names of the guys who they hang out with on that night. And they should also be able to tell you their names and their whereabouts. Therefore, you should discuss the matter with them and try to ascertain their names and numbers, particularly the man who volunteered to take you home.
You should also go to see your doctor as early as possible.