Cheating on my boyfriend with my babyfather


December 14, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 years old and I have two children. My daughter is with me and my son is with his father.

My son wants to come and live with me, but my boyfriend says he doesn't want to have yet another man's child in his house because he is already supporting my daughter.

I am very grateful to him, so I avoid fussing about it.

My daughter is 15 and my son is five. My son's father is a good man but he is married.

When I got pregnant for him, his wife fussed about it, but it did not cause them to break up because she does not have any children.

She was trying for a long time but was unable to do so. She told him to ask me to give up the child to her. I agreed.

My son is going to one of the best prep schools in Kingston. The school doesn't know me, but they know her. She takes him to school and picks him up and gives him the best.

But he knows that she is not his biological mother because his father told him. His father has brought him to spend time with us.

From he came the first time, he says he wants to be with his mother and his sister.

When I got pregnant, I was not working and that is one of the things that drove me into the married man's arms. He gave me everything, including buying me a car.

I still love this man and I will never stop loving him. Twice in 2017, I cheated with him on the man I am living with. But the man doesn't suspect anything.


I didn't cheat because I wanted money; I just wanted to feel him in me again. I know something is wrong with me because I don't feel guilty about it.

But if this man I am with should find out, I know he would throw me out and my daughter would suffer, because she gets whatever she wants from him.

And when it comes to her schoolwork, he doesn't allow her to neglect that.

I would like to get pregnant again just to give my boyfriend a child. Whenever I tell him that I would like to get pregnant, he tells me I am on my own.

He doesn't believe that I should take the risk.

I would like to hear from you whether you feel that I can try to get pregnant.


Dear T.F.,

I think you are taking an unnecessary risk and if you don't stop cheating, you are going to lose the man with whom you are living.

You know what you are doing is wrong. He has been treating you well. He makes you happy. He supports not only you but your daughter.

You are a fortunate woman, and yet you have not learnt to be a good woman. You cannot keep your legs shut.

You should remember that you have a daughter and she is at the age where she understands what you are doing.

You are also playing the fool and being ungrateful to the man with whom you are living. This man told you that he could not take another child into his house.

You should understand that and have your son visit whenever possible. He is a child and he may wish to live with you, but he is not suffering; and if you would take him to spend weekends with you as often as possible, that would be good enough for him for the time being. Your man, being a good man, wouldn't object to that.

You say that you are interested in having another child, but the man with whom you are living is not interested.

You should be satisfied with the two you have. However, I suggest you discuss this matter with your gynaecologist.

You are a bad woman. You went back to your son's father because you missed the way he felt. I repeat, stop the foolishness and be faithful to the man with whom you live. Otherwise, you may just lose him.


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