Jealous old man chased away my young lover

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you. I am a 40-year-old woman and I have never been married. I have been taking care of a senior citizen who is 72 years old. He cannot move around very much, so I have to do a lot of things for him.

I stay at his house. His children live abroad and they speak with me every week. I take this man to the doctor, and I take my time to walk with him everywhere he wants to go.

I do not have to pay out of my pocket for anything. Whatever I cook for this man, I eat the same thing. When I first came here, my boyfriend used to visit me. This man complained to his children that a man was coming to his house. He asked me who this man was and I told him he was my boyfriend. His children told me that, if I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend, I should meet him at another place, but I should not encourage him to come to this man’s house. I told them that was all right with me.

When I asked the elderly man why he did not want my boyfriend to come to the house, he said that he likes me, so he does not want any man to come to the house because he is jealous.

Now, my boyfriend has found another woman, but I really do not care because of this man. Although he cannot walk very well, he treats me well. He pays me much more than what I had agreed to work for when I first came here. He is very active. I feed him well, and I always have an empty room prepared for any of his children when they come to Jamaica.

He gets his pension and it is out of it that he gives me extra money. He is able to save a lot since I have been here with him. I have one child who lives overseas. She wanted me to come and visit her but I am not interested.

Some of my friends suspect that this man and I are carrying on, but I told them no. I know his children would never agree to him marrying me. I am quite satisfied working for him and getting my satisfaction. I hope that he will live for a very long time because I do not want to lose this job.

I am trying to save my money to buy a house through the National Housing Trust.

T.

Dear T,

It is evident that you and this senior citizen have fallen in love with each other. You had a man in your life when you started to work with him, and he complained to his children about this man coming to his house. They told you not to allow the man to come back. They didn’t tell you that you should not have this man as your lover but, when you asked this man why he did not want your lover to visit, he said that he loves you.

You have decided to choose this man over your lover. This man is meeting your needs in every way. You have a place to live and you have enough to eat and to drink. He is capable of having sex with you.

It might not be the healthiest relationship, but who am I to condemn you? Perhaps, you should ask this man whether he considers marrying you. I do believe that you would love to get married.

I believe his children would not support him marrying you.

I wish you well.

Pastor