Boyfriend stole my money to buy side chick gift

Dear Pastor,

I am living with my boyfriend and we have a joint account because we are hoping to buy a house.

We do not touch that account. However, I also have another account into which I save money each month so that I can buy things when I need them.

My boyfriend wanted to repair his car but did not have the money, so he asked me for a loan. I gave him my bank card. He went to the bank and withdrew the amount he needed but, a few days later, he returned and withdrew more money without my permission.

When I asked him why, he told me it was something very private. I said nothing because I thought he was planning a surprise for me.

Later, I was going through his shirt pockets and found a receipt from a jewellery store for an item costing $13,500. It was not for me. It was for his side chick.

I became angry. Thinking he was about to visit her, I punctured two of his car tyres.

I then got the woman’s phone number and told her that since she was sweeter than me, she could have him.

My boyfriend was very upset. He borrowed money from the credit union and repaid me. I then changed my PIN.

I have forgiven him but I no longer trust him.

Now he is saying that I should buy two new tyres for the car.

Do you think I should really buy them? I was taking revenge. I helped him buy that car.

Now he is going out with another woman in my car. Do you think that is right?

N.

Dear N.,

Your boyfriend was wrong to access your account and withdraw money without your permission. He should have appreciated the assistance you gave him.

He also made the mistake of leaving the jewellery receipt behind.

If a man is going to buy a gift for his side-chick, he certainly should not be borrowing money to do it. It appears he could not afford the gift himself.

However, you were wrong to damage the tyres.

If they have been seriously damaged, you should replace them. Your boyfriend repaid the money he took, so you should also take responsibility for the damage you caused.

You need to learn to control your anger.

I also wonder what is lacking in the relationship that has caused him to seek companionship elsewhere.

If both of you truly love each other and wish to remain together, perhaps you should consider seeing a family counsellor.

Pastor