My husband got my niece pregnant I am so upset, I’m killing him with bun

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem and I don’t know who to talk to, so I have decided to write to you.

I am married and have two children. I live with my husband. I have a sister who has three children. She is not married and lives with my mother.

Two years ago, one of her daughters came to spend a week with us. She is a lovely girl who was doing very well in school. I took her to the store and bought her some new clothes and we treated her very well.

My husband is a businessman. He gave me money to pay for some of the things she wanted. We also bought her a computer.

This is where the problem began.

Whether or not I was at home during the week, I never thought anything would go wrong. I was not aware that my husband had eyes on this young girl or that she had eyes on him.

After the week ended, she went back to rural Jamaica. A few months later, my mother noticed that she appeared to be putting on weight and asked her about it. My niece asked if she could tell her a secret.

My mother told her she could tell her anything.

She then revealed that, while staying with us in Kingston, she had sex with my husband twice and had not seen her period. My mother was speechless and asked whether she had told me. She said no.

When her mother came home, my mother asked her to repeat the story. She said that, whenever I was not at home, my husband asked her for sex and told her it would remain between the two of them. He said nothing would happen, that he would not get her pregnant because he would pull out.

Her mother asked if it was the first time she had sex. She said no. She had previously had sex with her boyfriend when she was 16. Her boyfriend used a condom.

She also claimed that the computer we bought her was payment for having sex with my husband.

I could not believe what I was hearing.

My husband denied everything.

We did not want anybody in the community to know that my husband had got my niece pregnant, so I took responsibility for supporting her and we sent her to stay with a cousin.

I could not believe that my husband would have sex with my niece. If you were to see me, I am an attractive woman and I take good care of myself.

I begged my husband to tell me the truth and I refused to have sex with him. I even started sleeping with a knife under my pillow.

One day, he said to me, “I am going to tell you the truth and, if you leave me, I will have myself to blame.”

He then admitted that he had sex with my niece.

My children now have a brother, and the mother of their brother is my niece.

I told my husband that I was going to find another man and that we should get a divorce. I spoke to a lawyer, who advised me to give myself time to think about it.

I did, but I would not lie to you. I have been cheating on him. The first person I slept with was his best friend. I told my best friend I didn’t care if my husband found out. She said I should not say that because he has a wife and would not want his wife to know he had sex with me.

I feel mixed up, but I am going through with the divorce because I cannot live with the thought that my husband had sex with my niece and got her pregnant.

We bought a house together and I told him I would buy him out. He said he did not want another man becoming stepfather to his children. I told him he didn’t have a choice.

At present, I am seeing a divorced man. I am hoping the relationship will work.

I know you may think I am a bad woman. Please tell me how you feel, but don’t tell me to go back to my husband. He is still living in the house, but we are constantly at each other’s throats.

H.

Dear H.,

I have spent a long time considering what you have written.

Your husband took advantage of the naivety of your niece. He was old enough to know that, if she had unprotected sex, she could become pregnant. According to your letter, he convinced her that she had nothing to fear because he would not ejaculate inside her.

Regardless of how one looks at the situation, your husband showed no respect for you, himself, or his children.

However, you have also complicated matters by becoming involved with multiple men, including your husband’s best friend.

I cannot tell you that you are wrong if you decide to divorce him. If both of you have assets to divide, ensure that the process is handled fairly by your attorneys.

Please do not continue down a path of reckless behaviour. That would only create further problems in your life.

Pastor