All I want for Christmas is my wife

Dear Pastor,

On the 25th of December, I will be celebrating my birthday.

My wife and I plan to spend that day alone. Every year, we have family with us and we cook a lot of food but, this year, we do not want anybody to be around. Last week, we heard from my wife’s sister. She lives in England and wants to come to Jamaica and spend Christmas with us. We told her that we have other plans for Christmas Day but we would be happy to have her the Monday following Christmas. The woman said she had already booked her ticket. My wife told her to cancel or spend a little money in a hotel for that weekend. She is very upset because we cannot accommodate her.

There are some people who do not realise that a couple needs to have time for each other and, this time, I have had to put my foot down. I told my wife that I do not want anybody in my house for Christmas Day. We are church people. We would go to church early Christmas morning, come home, and go to bed. Whenever we feel like, we will get up and have breakfast and go back to bed. We will have dinner late and, on Boxing Day, we will have late breakfast and dinner. I will not answer my phone. I will read text messages and, unless we have an emergency in the family, I will not respond.

We do not have children. My wife and I are hoping that, by spending this time with each other and relaxing, she may get pregnant. It might sound stupid to you, Pastor, but I have done everything possible to impregnate this woman. We are hoping that she will conceive on Christmas Day. Does that sound stupid to you? I hope not.

My in-law in England is so upset with us; she said we have destroyed her vacation plans.

S.

Dear S.,

You shouldn’t be concerned about how others feel and what they would want you to do for Christmas. You can’t please everybody, and relatives and friends have always come to your house for Christmas. But, this time your wife and you plan to spend the day with each other. Don’t change your plans to suit anybody.

Years ago, I did a wedding for a Rastaman who was living with a woman for years and couldn’t impregnate her. That man was determined to marry her and we made the wedding arrangements. On the day of the wedding, that man held the hand of his bride and, while he said his pledge, he wept. But I have a good word for you. People wonder how come a Rastaman would marry a woman he couldn’t impregnate. But I tell you what the good Lord did for that Rastaman. Soon after the wedding, the wife became pregnant. That is what the good Lord can do. This man was a happy man, and you would be just as happy if you were to get your wife pregnant.

I say to you, my dear brother, I wish you well. Eat and drink, have lots of fun with your wife, play music and dance. Just don’t get drunk.

Pastor