Girlfriend is milking my pockets dry

Dear Pastor,

I am a 40-year-old man and I am living with my girlfriend who is 29.

When I got to know her, some of my friends told me I was heading into trouble. They knew her much better than me, but I told them I could manage. This girl always wants new things. She does not like to wash, but she cooks. I can always expect my food when I go home in the evenings. She does not have any children, but I have two. She is not interested in having children right now. She told me that she wants to enjoy life before she settles down and has children. I told her that, at my age, I would like to have two more children. That doesn’t have any effect on her.

What she wants from me is money. I try my best to give her the money she wants, and I say wants because it cannot be need, because she does not pay rent. I am living in my own home, so she does not contribute to rent or mortgage. What I give her is to buy groceries and to take care of her. She changes her hairdo every week. She doesn’t have to take public transport.

I am embarrassed because my friends had warned me about her. Why does a young woman need so much money every week? She gets upset when I ask her what she did with her money. She is always saying I shouldn’t be asking her that. I told her that she should have a very solid bank account and she advised me that, for her to have that, I would have to double what I give to her every week.

I don’t want to give you the impression, Pastor, that everything is bad about this girl. When it comes to sex, I don’t have any problem with her. Sometimes I have to tell her that she should remember my age, so she should go easy. She said it is my fault because I was the one who took her up, so I should stop complaining. This girl gets $20,000 from me every week. I give her enough money for groceries.

Should I be giving her more? I would love to hear from you.

D.

Dear D.,

You cannot reduce the amount that you have been giving to this young woman.

You have already spoiled her. Please understand, however, that I am not saying that she does not deserve what you have given to her. What you need to do is to sit with her and teach her how to save and invest, because she needs to learn to put away at least $10,000 out of what you give to her. But you should not attempt to hold back on the amount that you give to her.

Your friends told you that you couldn’t manage, but it seems to me that you are doing well.

Pastor