My husband refuses to repay my father


January 27, 2016

Dear pastor,

I am 30. My husband is 35. We have been married for five years. We have two children. The last child is less than a year old.

My husband and I used to get along well until I found out he had borrowed money from a woman, his former lovers. When I heard I had to tell somebody, so I confided in my parents. I also found out that the amount he had borrowed from her was $850,000. He refused to tell me what he did with the money.

The woman decided to expose him. She threatened to take him to court. I asked my father if he could give my husband a loan to repay the lady. My father gave him the money. My father is now in need of the money. My husband has refused to repay, saying the money was not a loan but a gift. I was there when my father had made it clear that he was lending him the money, giving him 18 months to repay. My husband agreed.

He said he did not have anything in writing, it was a gift. My husband is embarrassing me. My father called him a thief. He told him he is not welcome at his house until he repays him. He has given him more time. My husband has not had anything more to do with the woman. Sometimes she sees me on the road. We have met in the supermarket. She greeted me and asked me for the children, but not my husband.

My husband is in a new job. I don't' know if he has another woman or what. He takes care of the house, but he is always saying he doesn't have any money. I help to pay the rent. Sometimes I pay the light bill. Everything is not left on him. Pastor, please tell me what to do.


Dear P.L,

It must have been very embarrassing for you to tell your father about the conduct of your husband. I hate to say your husband is a dishonest and shameless man. He borrowed the money from his former lover, couldn't pay it back, and you asked your father to assist him. Your father gave him a loan. Now he is saying it was not a loan, it was a gift.

I can see your father giving you a gift to help to purchase a property, but not to your husband. Your husband is behaving as a thief. If he continues to refuse to repay your father, he should take the matter to court.

After the extension that your father has given him to repay the money has passed, I repeat, your father should take him to court. He could have repaid your father in instalments. I hope you will have the good sense to stand by your father. Expect anything bad from your husband.


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