Want to achieve more before having a baby

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I am living with my boyfriend who is 25.

I am on the Pill because I do not want to get pregnant and my boyfriend does not want to use the condom. We have been living together for a year. Before we decided to live together, he told me that he had fathered a child and wanted two more children. I told him that I would not be against that, but I am just not ready to get pregnant.

I need two more subjects to go into nursing school. He said that, when he uses the condom, it does not feel as if he is having sex. I went to my doctor and she prescribed the type of pill that I should use. I told my boyfriend and he agreed that I could go on the Pill, so that was the compromise I had to make.

This man is in a very good job and he pays most of the bills. I evenly split the rent with him, which is $80,000 per month. We live in a nice neighbourhood and in a nice house. My parents did not like the idea of me living with a man, but when my mother came and saw the place, she cried. She has been back twice to spend a weekend with us.

One day, my boyfriend and I went to the supermarket and, when the cashier saw him, she told me to hold on to him because he is a good man. On our way home, I asked him how she knew that he is a good man. He asked me if I was sure that I wanted him to tell me and I told him yes. Then he said that she was his old girlfriend, but they broke up because she always wanted money. I left it there.

My father has not come to see where we are living. My mother told us that, the next time she is coming, she is going to bring him. I am hoping that this guy will marry me and that I will be in a position to give him a child.

A.

Dear A.,

You are fortunate that this man agreed for you to go on the Pill – some men don’t care.

They want to have children and they do not trust women who are on the Pill. Let us hope that he is not flying his kite with other women. Let us hope that you are his only woman and that he will remain faithful to you.

Take care of each other and keep in touch with me. I would like to know how this relationship is going.

Pastor