My boyfriend only wants sex


January 13, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 years old and my boyfriend is 18. I like him because he comes from a good family. His father is a well-known big man and he is always in the news. We have been having sex, but every time we meet he wants to have sex. I try to give it to him, but at times I tell him we should just talk. He can't keep his hands off me. He is very handsome.

When I tell my friends that he always wants sex, they say I should just give it to him because, if I don't other, girls would just take him away from me and give him sex. Pastor, please tell me what to do. My parents don't know him. He is my boyfriend. My first boyfriend was much older. He took my virginity, but he is just wild, so I just couldn't deal with him.


Dear P.T.,

I hope you are not proud of yourself. You are over the age of consent, but it is unwise for a girl who is so young to be having sex. This much older man who took your virginity didn't have to have sex with you. He could have been your friend, but he encouraged you to have sex. I rather suspect that he was helping you financially, so you felt obligated to have sex with him.

Concerning your 18-year-old boyfriend, he is very sharp on the draw, so to speak. He always wants sex, but I want you to know that it is not unusual for a man his age, who has become sexually active and who has a girlfriend, to want to have sex with her all the time. He thinks about her all the time and when he thinks of her, he thinks about having sex. When he thinks of her, he is not thinking how much he cherishes her, he thinks of her having sex with him. That physical contact with her is what's on his mind. Sometimes he sits to study and he daydreams about her and he may get an erection and it is powerful and he might even ejaculate on himself.

His glands are always working overtime, I may say. But that doesn't mean that he is truly in love with the girl. He thinks about how she moves and how good she is in bed, and sometimes not even in bed, but anywhere he can 'jam' her.

Because your boyfriend wants to have sex with you all the time doesn't mean that he loves you in the true sense of the word 'love'. Also, because he is having sex with you doesn't mean he loves you. What I am telling you is just the truth. This is not just only for you, but for the young girls who read my column.

I do not doubt one bit that you love this guy. You love him in a different way. You want him to be tender. You want him to be understanding. You don't mind a hug and holding hands at times. But you know that if you were to hold his hand he will have you on your back before you could count one- two-three.

When a relationship is built on sex, it is not going to last. Don't follow your girlfriends, don't follow their advice. Don't continue to make yourself cheap because it's likely that the relationship would not last and you will have to find another boyfriend, and the former guy will say that he has got enough out of you and you are now washed up.

You don't have to have sex. Don't be fooled by the nice words of a man. Many times, they do not mean what they say.


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