Helper has a hold on me

Dear Pastor,

I am a 50-year-old man, and I am writing to you for some advice.

I have never been married, but recently I have fallen in love with a young lady who my daughter brought to the house. This woman has been working for us. I was living with my children’s mother, but she went abroad and promised that she would return. It has been seven years since she left and she has not returned.

My daughter and her brother live here with me, but many times I am alone. So, my children, especially my daughter, told me that I should have someone here to take care of me. So, my daughter got this woman – who is a member of the church she attends – to cook, clean and wash. My children are responsible for paying her. This woman does not have children. She has been doing a very good job. She is a good cook. But I observe that since she arrived, she wants to control everything. She changes up everywhere. This woman is older than me. When she came, she asked me questions like how come I am living so long without a woman and if I don’t get lonely at times. I realised that the woman was interested in me, but I dismissed it.

One day I went to the bathroom, and I was having a shower, and she knocked on the door. I asked, “What is it?” She asked me if I did not want her to come in and scrub my back. I told her I was naked, but if she wanted to come, she could. She came into the bathroom wearing only her underwear. She started to scrub my back with my rag, and when I eventually looked around, her underwear was off. I asked her what she really wanted and she said she had not done anything for a long time. From scrubbing my back, she went between my legs and down to my feet; I lost control. We played with each other in the tub and she took my penis and put it inside her. I asked her if she was not afraid and she said no, because at her age, she cannot get pregnant.

After we washed off, she dried me off and told me that as long as she is working in the house, she will bathe me. I tried to keep this love affair to myself, but I couldn’t. I told my daughter that the woman loves me, and she said she could see that. She said it is up to me if I want her to continue to work with us. I told my daughter that she can continue, so the woman is still here. I have found myself loving her more every day. I don’t know what to do.

I cannot marry her because I have put my children’s name on my house title, so this woman can’t get anything if we get married. Do you have a suggestion?

B.

Dear B.,

Your daughter introduced this woman to you and she and her brother are responsible for paying her.

The woman has been admiring you, and she has been taking good care of you. She sees that you are a good catch and that you can meet her sexual needs, so she has introduced sex to you. I suggest that you tell this lady that she can work with you as long as she wants, but you cannot marry her and give her the reasons why.

On the other hand, you may tell her that both of you can get married and you may assist her in buying a house so that she could live comfortably if you decease her. Talk this matter over with your children and I wish you well.

Pastor